non-begrudging back-rubs preach

So we have this thing that we label husband and/or wife righteousness. A behavior that is brought forth to the spouse and presented as proof of righteousness (laundry, work, taking out the dog, back rubs, etc.) for us gets labeled husband or wife righteousness. Grounds for affirmation, appreciation, and reciprocation. It has proved helpful for us to have a label for this anti-gospel mentality. There are so many things that we want to claim credit for in marriage. We want to earn our own righteousness. This is out of step with the gospel. The gospel, one facet at least, is Christ ALONE for righteousness. Even in laundry, fixing dinner, sex, you name it. We so want to claim credit. FAIL.

Anything good comes from Him. Period. If I do laundry as an overflow of being served by Jesus first then I wouldn't dare grasp for the credit. I'd do it joyfully. Full. Not out of a cavernous soul that demands praise. Why in heaven's name would I need praise from my spouse when I have been so loved, so cherished, so graced?

Are you bristling yet?

Resist the bristle. You may get walked over. You may be under-appreciated. OR, you MAY just find, the display of the self-sacrificing, overflowing love and joy is translated as gospel. It may just resonate with the soul. Maybe not at first. But, I do believe, a joyful, non-begrudging back-rub preaches.

"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, IN ORDER THAT I MAY GAIN CHRIST and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own thast comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteouness from God that depends on faith- that I may know Him..."

Phil 3:7-10