Someone asked what my day is like. Let me tell you. It is REALLY exciting. This is the basic frame work. Add to it that this week, Tuesday night I went out with my best girlfriends from highschool, Wednesday we had a new couple over for dinner, Thursday we are having dinner at a different new friend's house, Friday we are having a birthday party for Grace at our house with her friends from school and going out that night to dinner with friends, and Sunday our friends are coming over for brunch. When do you think I should try to go to Michaels to get stuff to make treat bags for the party?? And how about that giant chalkboard that I'd like to construct out of paint and a frame from Good Will?? ANY IDEAS???
5:00 AM Grace climbs into our bed totally undetected. She is a total stealth.
7:00 Mark gets up with Grace, fixes her breakfast and starts the coffee. He changes the baby and lets him play for a bit.
7:30 By this time I am up, contacts in, and ready to nurse the babe. John usually nurses for 20 minutes or so. Then I help Grace get ready for school. Pack her lunch, fix my coffee, help her with her hair, etc.
Mark usually leaves by 8:00.
8:45 I leave with Grace and John to take Grace to school.
9:20 Arrive at home, feed John his baby food, let him play on the floor, check email, refill coffee.
10:00 John goes down for his nap. I get to have my quiet time. My quiet times are sitting at a bar stool at my kitchen counter. I usually start by prayer writing in my journal. I just finished A Heart Like His this morning! I usually take 45 minutes to complete a days homework.
11:30 Finish up the breakfast dishes, facebook, throw a load of laundry in, make the beds, etc.
12:00 John wakes up and I nurse him again.
12:45 Leave to go get Grace.
1:30-2:00 I usually eat something, fix Grace a snack, feed John his baby food.
2:00 John goes down for his second nap.
2:00-4:00 Recently, I have been working on house projects. Painting, cooking, decorating, etc. If I need to paint my nails, read, help Mark with something Portico related, then this is the time that usually happens. My new goal is to workout (P90X?) during this time. I also sit with Grace and work on her writing and reading, read stories, sing, etc.
4:00 John gets his bottle.
5:30 Mark usually gets home. Dinner as a family. Mostly, I cook, but Mark does his fair share as well.
6:30 Mark usually does bath and jammies for both kids. He reads Grace a story while I nurse John.
7:30 Prayers and lights out for children.
7:30- latest 12:00 talk, eat dessert, watch T.V., read, facebook, blog, work on Portico stuff, etc.
I know it seems like I do nothing important...
When I was deciding if I would stay home with my children or work, I asked myself these questions. I have many friends whom I love and respect deeply who have gone back to work and put their kids in daycare. Though I strongly disagree with their decision, I do not judge them, or think by any stretch of the imagination that I am better than they are. If they were to ask my opinion, I would encourage every one of them to stay home with their children, especially during those first five crucial years.
- Can my love, affection, and attention be easily replaced by hired help?
- Do I think someone else will consistently love my children as much as I do?
- Is it better to give my children more time with me, or more things?
- At the end of the day, who will give an account to God for the spiritual training and discipleship of my kids?
- Is my desire to work outside the home rooted in my personal interests or the interest of my children?
The answers to these are plain. I am not easily replaced. My love, affection, hugs, kisses and snuggles throughout the day cannot be replaced by anyone else, let alone a stranger who is paid by the hour. As a former child care worker, as much as I dearly cared for other people's kids, and some, I would say I did love, I know deep in my heart that I never felt the same way about them as I did my own children. I am not a single parent and therefore do not HAVE to work to pay the bills. We do not take vacations (that we personally pay for), have huge savings accounts, or live outside our means. God has been gracious to honor my decision to stay home and has miraculously provided for us in all kinds of creative ways. John will never remember if he had the finest organic onsies, but he will remember that his mom was always there. At the end of the day, I feel that the spiritual nurture of my children happens during all waking hours. I am the one who will give an account before God regarding their spiritual development.
Do I have days that I wish I was with adults and working outside the home? Yes. Are there times when I feel that what I am doing isn't making any difference? Yes. Could we use the extra money that a second income brings in? You better believe it. That's why I have made a commitment to my kids. Their needs and best interest trump mine. That's what love is!
Please, do not be offended, worker moms. I love you!!! These are my convictions, and I do not judge you.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
10 comments:
Love you, Siesta! Doctor Laura would be so proud :)
My nipples hurt after reading this post. Admiration.
No really, I was blessed by this. Thanks for the play by play, Jaime. You're an incredible person to learn from!
I love you too. And know that I will oh-so-strongly share those same convictions and am blessed to know that I will not alone in what at times may be a struggle.
WOW.
I am the blogstalker who originally asked-- thanks for posting this!
And I was asking for the exact reason that you went into-- working vs. stay at home. I had a working mom, but wanted to be a SAHM... so I am. But it is a struggle to get it all done, keep my marriage together, and have time with myself. I have never had a model for that, so it's awesome to see how other moms do it!
Thanks for your honest and thoughtful post!
Thanks for sharing girl! My routine is quite similar to yours and i wouldn't trade it for anything!
Anonymous - I had the same situation with my mom...that's why it's so great when your friends like Jaime share why they do this crazy life! :)
Brett, you are hysterical.
J - what a timely post and amazing how our Father uses long time friends to speak directly to our hearts. I just found out last week that I'm loosing my telework part time job for the Govt. Its a major contribution to our familys income so some major changes are upcoming. While I have a peace about having more time to raise these sweet girls, it also freaks me out. So this was really encouraging. Needing to just trust the Lord to provide...love you!
So, I just had to come back and say that my husband and I had a long conversation last night about something that really struck me in what you wrote-- the idea of your relationship to your children as a commitment.
I think the reason it struck me is that while I view my marriage as a commitment that takes obvious sacrifices, I don't always see my relationship with my child that way. I was trying to figure out why that was, and I realized that I think because it is socially acceptable to have a third party do the job (out of necessity or want). But you can't always have a third party in your marriage ("hey honey, I think I will swap you out this week and give myself a break...")
And BECAUSE it's socially acceptable, I think people forget the sacrifices that DO come with SAHMs. The list of what we, as a society, "need" for our children is SO different than what it was 30-50 years ago. (And that is NOT a positive.)
And perhaps those sacrifices are more obvious to younger moms whose peers are out gallivanting the singles scene and having illustrious careers..... :)
While I made different choices than most of my peers, I wouldn't change it for the world. Like marriage though, it comes with struggles that you can never forsee!
Long comment... sorry!
very well written! we miss you in c-ville :-)
Hi Jamie,
I'm the blog stalker who knows you through Heather....As a full time working mom, I just wanted to comment and say that I take great comfort in knowing that my kids are in the hands of another mom while my husband and I are working. We know that she takes care of them like her own, and takes her job very seriously. She is not a stranger to us anymore, we have now expanded to our family by including hers. And vice versa. She does not base her love by the hour. I agree, that my hugs, kisses and snuggles throughout the day cannot be replaced, but I do know that she does those things too. And that my kids respond to her as well as me. She teaches them things that I cannot. She provides them with a beautiful yard and other children to interact with. She enables them to develop friendships, resolve arguments and teach the fine art of sharing. The time I spend with my kids is quality and knowing that I have Miss Cathy in my court everyday makes it that much easier when I head off to work.
Thanks for your post, I just wanted to give the other side of the story.
Post a Comment