diamond bed in the rough

NO HATERS!!!

It has seriously been Y-E-A-R-S since I have graced the inside of one of these. For the last six years I've been pregnant, or trying to get pregnant and have not been interested in tanning. I got my fake and bake start back in the 10th grade when I rode my older sister's purple "mountain bike" around the corner to the, as my disapproving mother would say, "tanning booth." I managed to pay my $7 a session with crumpled bills pulled from my back pockets. I remember wondering why they thought women would want a free bunny sticker as a take home treat. So naive. Anyone remember those?

My family moved, and by the 11th grade I was a part time employee at The Sun Club in Springfield. I was a bed cleaner. One capful of Lycosol into the plastic spray bottle and you are good to go. Sanitized. There is nothing quite like moping up someone else's sweat pools, using their used towel, because the manager didn't want the towels to back up in the wash/dry cycle. I so excelled at this job that I wooed a good friend and that older sister I mentioned into the business as well. Orbit? Omega? Sonic bed, anyone?

At Miami University, as a first year, I distinctly remember braving the Oxford winter and trekking from Scott Hall up-town to a ramshackle nail salon that had two beds "in the back." You had to stay in them for close to an hour to see any color because the bulbs were never replaced. Nice.

Then came the JMU years. I worked at Caribbean Tan along with my three housemates, one of whom was the manager. This time, I was both bed cleaner AND operator. Yes, I still have the tee-shirt.

I graduated from JMU SEVEN years ago and one of those darling housemates sent me a message on facebook TODAY saying that a place up the road was offering TWO DAYS of FREE tanning. I dug up my old eye wear and Ocean Potion Lotion and after the children were in bed momma zipped down the street to get her free session. I'm so grateful. You never know what kind of music will be available while you are tanning, but I was so thankful for an entire non-scratchy DMB song loud and clear through the speakers. You wear nothing, but you wear it so well. Now THAT is ridiculous.

I know tanning is terrible for you. I DO NOT plan on purchasing any packages, plans or any additional sessions. I simply took advantage of the one time special, and got some much needed, post blizzard, vitamin D. I do NOT recommend tanning, or think it is OK to tan. Unless of course it's me and it's free.